I Am My Worst Enemy

Dave's picture

How often have you done something to yourself that left you wondering, “How could I be so dumb?”  Well I did just that Saturday evening.  Here is the story.  I hope you get a laugh from it.

It’s about 6 PM on a Saturday, suppertime.  Neither Nanook or I wanted to cook.  We did the obvious, we called Pizza Hut.  We ordered a pizza for pick-up.  It’s cheaper to pick-up than deliver, so I opted for the cheap route.  That was my first mistake.

I put on my shoes, put on my jacket and headed-out to the garage.  I pushed the garage door opener button.  I heard the unmistakable whir of the door lifting.  As the door was opening I walked around my parked Toyota RAV4 to the driver’s side.  Part of that walk was between the rear of the car and the rising garage door.  That was my second mistake.

I got into my seat, strapped-on my seat belts, inserted the key into the ignition, started the engine, and slipped the transmission into reverse.  I eased-up my foot off the brake pedal, and the car started creeping backwards.  During that process I overlooked one step, checking my rear view mirror.  That was my third mistake.

I have to slowly back the car out of the garage mindful to be careful as to not decapitate my outside mirrors.  Slowly, moving backward, then the awful noise of shattering glass alerting me to stomp on the brake.  “What the (expletive)?”  I cursed.  I looked up to my rearview mirror to see an unencumbered view of my driveway.  “Unencumbered” because I no longer had a rear window.  It was in hundreds of pieces on the garage floor on the storage compartment of the car.  The next thing I did was silently curse myself for being so dumb.  It was one of those Homer Simpson “DOH” moments when I realized what a dumb thing I had done.

What happened is that my garage door did not rise all the way.  In fact it stopped after making about 3/4th’s of its ascent, just high enough so the bottom of the door aligned itself with the rear window on the RAV4’s tailgate.

I was shaken but not stirred (sorry James Bond, I can’t help myself).  The first thing I did was call Pizza Hut to change the order to delivery.  Then I called the insurance company.  The pizza arrived after I hung the phone-up from the insurance company.  Needless to say the pizza wasn’t very good, it wasn’t Pizza Hut’s fault.  The next morning I checked the car and the garage door.  The only damage was, thankfully, the window.

Fast forward to Monday morning, the car window guy came and replaced the window followed by the garage door guy who fixed the door, and by 11 PM, the RAV4 and garage were as good as new.

What I was left with is a bunch of “What if” questions like “What if I ordered delivery instead of pick-up,” or “What if I left the car in the driveway earlier in the day rather than put in the garage,” or “What if I checked to see if the garage door was all the way up.”  But after self-flagellating myself verbally, I decided to laugh at myself instead, and blog about it.

Do you have your “Oh s__t” story you would like to share.  Our readers would be like to read about it.

Remember, it’s rChance to Thrive, Every Day and in Every Way.

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